When I was in the 8th grade, they opened up a huge new shopping mall a few miles from my parents’ house. Following the trajectory of a lot of shopping malls, this place was decent for a few years…then the outlets moved in…then everything else moved out…and now I think it sits largely empty, with the exception of the DMV.
Back in the mall’s heyday, it had a store called “Designer Rugs” that my mom was convinced was actually a front for a drug ring. Part of the theory had to do with how the “D” in Designer was suspiciously close to the word “Rugs” (this was a very sophisticated theory), but I think the main reason we thought this was because we had no idea how a store selling designer rugs at those prices could stay in business in that area. Though we never proved the rug store to be engaged in anything illegal, we were right about at least one thing, though — it didn’t stay in business.
In my opinion, the modern-day version of that Designer Rugs store is Edible Arrangements. I’m not suggesting that Edible Arrangements is a cover for illegal activity or anything, but seriously, HOW does that place stay in business? I have never received an edible arrangement, never purchased an edible arrangement, never heard of anyone else purchasing or receiving an edible arrangement. I could maybe understand it it if were all online, but that place has tons of retail locations — and plenty in big cities and other locations where rent ain’t cheap. Edible Arrangements…I’ve got my eye on you.
CHORIZO SRIRACHA FRIED RICE (adapted from From Dahlias to Doxies)
4 cups cooked brown rice, cooled
1 tbsp butter, melted
9 oz. pork chorizo (3 links)
1 cup diced onion
1 red bell pepper, diced
2 Serrano peppers, thinly sliced
1 tbsp minced garlic
4 tbsp Sriracha
3 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp hot water
3 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
chopped green onions or chives, for garnish
1. Cook brown rice according to package instructions. Put rice in bowl and chill in fridge (this can be done the night before). Once cool, stir melted butter in rice and set aside.
2. In small bowl, mix together Sriracha, sugar, and hot water. Set aside.
3. In wok or large skillet, cook chorizo over medium heat until done, about 8 minutes. Remove from wok, reserving drippings in wok, and set aside. Add diced onion and red bell pepper to the skillet and saute until softened, 4-5 minutes. Add in sliced serranos and minced garlic and saute another minute or so.
4. Add rice to veggies in wok. Pour in Sriracha mixture and stir well. Stir fry for about 5 more minutes, or until rice starts to crisp up.
5. Crack eggs into rice and stir as eggs scramble and cook. Cook for about 3 more minutes, stirring often. Stir in chorizo. Finish with soy sauce; stir well. Garnish with chives or green onions.
If Edible Arrangements changed their business model to serve this chorizo sriracha fried rice, I’m pretty sure they’d stay in business forever. This was SO good! The original recipe called for more butter and oil, but I tried to lighten it up slightly. However, unless you were really trying to keep things as light as possible, I’d suggest doubling the chorizo from the measurements above. This was delicious as is, but it definitely wouldn’t be harmed by the introduction of more chorizo.